All the problems in the world are about dealing with people.
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I believe most people have this feeling:
some people, you can't say what's good about them, but they just make you comfortable with each other;
there are some people, you can't say what's wrong with them, but they always disgust you when they come into contact.
the reason why the feelings between people are good or bad actually stems from the accumulation of details.
details often best reflect a person's true state and determine the distance of their relationship.
Today, my uncle sorted out 10 small details that make people feel good about you, hoping to help you gain better relationships with the details.
there is a question on the Internet: "what are the smallest details that make you feel better about others?"
the one with the highest likes replied:
"keep each other's preferences in mind."
We often see such people in our life.
when they ask for a meal, they know your favorite dish and will prepare it for you silently.
when you talk, they know what you are interested in and will lead the topic to your area of interest.
because compared with self-interested people, learning to put each other into their own hearts can give people a sense of spring breeze.
A good relationship begins when the other person knows exactly that you have him in your heart.
secretly keep other people's preferences in mind, give others a little surprise, but also earn a good impression for yourself.
treat things given by others, good or bad, with your heart
shared an experience.
when she was in primary school, a classmate invited her to a birthday party.
when she was invited for the first time, she was so excited that she braved the pressure of being scolded and asked her family for 10 yuan and bought a candy-colored penholder for her classmates.
when she went to her classmate's house and saw a beautiful penholder on her desk, she immediately thought that her classmate must not like her humble penholder, and she was extremely lost.
A few years later, when she was about to graduate from primary school, she went to the classmate's house again and found that the ugly penholder and the beautiful penholder were put together attentively by her classmates, and her heart was unspeakably moved.
sometimes, we have to admit that there is a difference in everyone's standard of living.
but not everything in this world can be measured by money.
maybe the things given by others are very simple, but don't forget the saying that gifts are light and affectionate.
the things given by others, whether good or bad, are treated attentively, which is self-cultivation and respect.
in the crowd, care about the person with the lowest sense of existence
I don't know if you have found this phenomenon:
in every group with a high atmosphere, there will be a person who agrees with the voice all the way, or even silent, with a very low sense of existence.
very often, it's not that they don't want to talk, but they can't get in for a variety of reasons.
to be a man, never try to be cheerful and disregard the feelings of others.
there is a saying: "A person's greatest kindness is to see others."
when others are left out in the cold, if you take the initiative to care, you can not only add points to yourself, but also quickly get closer to each other and warm up the relationship.
in this life, there is a cycle of cause and effect.
when others are embarrassed, you give a hand, and someone will give you a hand when you are embarrassed.
keep your voice to a minimum when you speak and do things in public
"Please don't make any noise in public places." This sentence is all too familiar to everyone.
but even if we repeat it again and again, some people still can't do it.
the cell phone volume is played out on the subway; the lunch break is wanton noisy in the company.
you kindly advised him not to disturb others because of his own affairs, but he replied insolently, "I'm doing my own thing that's in your way."
there is a saying that the solid ink is silent and empty, and the full bottle does not move and half shake.
the higher the level, the better the volume control; the lower the level, the more noisy.
when you learn to be considerate and keep the volume low in public, you will gain a lot of respect.
pass by the place with a door, hold it for the person behind
I remember that during a meeting when I was working in my former company, I went to the conference room with a close colleague.
talking and laughing on the road, it is very lively. When he passed the door of the conference room, he went in first. I thought he would hold the door, but I followed him without thinking.
as a result, he not only failed to help me, but also laughed after I was hit in the face by the door.
in life, if you watch carefully, you will find that there is a kind of self-cultivation reflected in whether you can hold the door for others.
when entering the door, regardless of leaving directly and letting the door frame fall on the faces of passers-by, no matter how good the ordinary person is, it will instantly ruin all the good feelings.
sometimes, a simple effort is the embodiment of all one's self-cultivation.
keep the agreement between the two parties in mind
the older you get, the more you find that people are willing to touchThere is one trait in all the people: reliability.
the so-called reliable means that there is an explanation for everything, a response to everything, and a reason for everything.
people like this are often seen in life:
they love to talk, and they always don't want to say yes to everything, whether it's difficult or not, but they either forget it afterwards, or they don't have the ability to do it.
in the long run, it's hard not to be disgusted by such people.
however, there is another kind of person who can keep in mind what they have agreed upon with each other, put it into practice quietly, and accomplish everything in an orderly way.
it is the most reliable thing for a person to keep each other's agreements in mind.
when people tease someone, take the initiative to change the subject
my friend Zheng Mowen once told me a story.
once, he joined the wine bureau of a friend's group.
after having had enough to drink and eat, several people joked excitedly about a female friend present.
he was embarrassed to see the girl, and although he met her for the first time, he came to the rescue.
when you are alive, you can't guarantee that no one will talk about you, but you can control yourself from talking about others.
when everyone is talking about one person, you stand up and change the topic quietly, in return for someone willing to stand up for you when you are complained by others.
eat out and put the food scraps on your plate
I wonder if you have this kind of experience?
when eating out with friends, some people put leftovers on their plates.
I think those finished leftovers, even spit out from the mouth, should be thrown directly on the table and on their own plate, which is not only unhygienic, but also affects the mood of the next meal.
until later, I couldn't help asking a friend, "Why don't you just throw the leftovers on the table?"
"of course you can leave it on the table, but it will bring a lot of cleaning trouble to the waiter, which can lighten the waiter's burden."
when he finished, I was ashamed.
most of the time, you always feel that it is most important to enjoy yourself, so you don't think about whether it will bring any trouble to others.
the real enjoyment is to please yourself without bothering others.
putting food scraps on your plate looks "dirty", but it is actually a kind of clean kindness.
respect the fruits of other people's work, even if you don't like them.
netizens of Zhihu
@ Xu Xing
told a story.
once, their department worked overtime collectively, the workload was very heavy, and everyone was very tired.
when the leader saw this, he told the cook to make some delicious tonics for everyone.
because the kitchen has just changed the staff, I don't know what everyone likes, so I made some popular dishes in the canteen, such as meat and bone, Kung Pao chicken, sliced chicken with lettuce.
when people see a table of chicken, they turn their attention to the leader, because they know that the leader does not eat chicken and even never touches dishes fried with chicken.
at this time, the leader turned around with the dinner plate, silently filled a bowl of mung bean soup and sat among everyone, drinking while chatting with everyone.
finally, she said:
"from this moment on, I decided to set my heart on working with him."
in life, everyone has his own preferences, and no one can always match your preferences.
and this is the time when one can best reflect one's upbringing.
you can respect the fruits of other people's work even if you don't like them, and you can reap a favorable impression.
help from others,
besides saying thank you,
and remember to give each other something in return
We have been taught since childhood to get help from others and to say thank you to others.
but no one has ever told us that a thank you is not enough.
between people, always rely on each other to exchange hearts to maintain.
it is the intention of others to help you.
if you accept other people's help, you should say thank you.
so, after others help you, remember to send something in return to express your feelings.
only in this way can we balance this relationship and make our relationship stable for a long time.
for example, if someone else has solved some work problems for you, you can give a small gift to show your gratitude.
it is often said that all problems in the world are problems of dealing with people.
when you have a good relationship, you will find that most of the troubles in life go away.
so all you have to do is to be kind and treat with your heart.
as Carnegie said:
"if we want to make friends, we must first do something for others, something that takes time, energy, thoughtfulness and dedication."
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