Actually, I don't know how to comfort my family.

A few nights ago, my sister, unusually, suddenly sent me a selfie with her neck tilted, asking me, "is it enough for Internet celebrities?"

I was surprised and joked, "what happened to your neck?"

she snorted, calling me low and saying that Internet celebrities take pictures like this.

I intercepted the chat and posted it on moments.

many friends leave messages saying, "Zepeng, you are really the ugliest in the family", "take a good look at Boing", "I want WeChat account thank you" blabla.

I smiled and asked my sister to visit my moments.

her reply was somewhat sudden: "Brother, what do you do when you are lovelorn?"

the moment I saw this sentence, I understood why she suddenly sent a selfie and why she suddenly said so many funny things.

then I couldn't help sinking.

that was the first time I heard my sister say she was lovelorn.

I was still in KTV at that time. I wanted to comfort her, so I recorded a voice and said, "are you lovelorn?" Let me sing you a song. "

she replied to me a little seriously: "people who are lovelorn can't listen to music."

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then I reacted in a bit of a panic, thought about it, and asked her if she would call.

she laughed, saying that people who are lovelorn are more suitable for spending money.

I thought so, so I sent her a red envelope.

but she never took it. I was a little at a loss. I didn't know what to say. Finally, I could only sigh and say, "fool, it's all right."

my sister asked me what was wrong.

I foolishly stressed that it was okay to break up.

"it seems that my brother often breaks up."

"Yes, I am often broken up, and it will be very sad at first, and it will be all right gradually."

she laughed again and said she was going to bed. Good night.

sometimes the more angry a person is, the more sad she is. And that good night, perhaps not really want to sleep, but she realized that I can not comfort anything.

the more she conceals her emotions with laughter and good night, the more I feel powerless.

finally, he said with some frustration, "Ah. Good night, then. "

I was sad for a long time that night.

I have written a lot of articles about lovelorn, and there are many people who feel better because I feel better, and even seem to have become reliable people to talk to.

but the truth of that day was that I had no idea how to comfort my family.

I can't say a quip to amuse my sister, and I don't know what form I can use to comfort her. Even because I don't go home during the summer vacation, I can't take her to a delicious meal.

at this point, I can't help thinking of my chat with my father the other day.

he said he was fine, which reassured me and asked me how I was doing.

I said I was fine, reassured him and asked him how his family was.

he said home is fine, so I don't have to worry too much about blabla

. After the voice call was over that day, I listened to it again and found that all the conversations between father and son were in the same pattern:

"I'm fine, don't worry."

in fact, I have a lot to ask. I want to ask him what happened to the flowers in his family. I want to ask him if he is still watching if you are the one.

but in front of the people closest to me, my whole set of ability to "talk well", which I read, read programs, listen to audio, and study carefully, suddenly disappeared inexplicably, and I couldn't say anything.

I've been thinking these days, why are we at a loss in an intimate relationship?

the answer I gave later was: lack of practice.

the more intimate a relationship is, the more likely it is to lose the opportunity to practice comfort.

the premise of comfort is understanding.

different people have different ways to comfort.

some people want to hear opinions and find a sense of direction.

some people want to be distracted by jokes.

some people don't want to talk, they just want someone to be with them quietly.

Yes, knowing how a person looks happy doesn't mean you know him, but knowing how a person looks sad.

then.

do you know what your family looks like when they are sad? Do you know that when they are sad, they need opinions, jokes, or quiet company?

found no, we may have made a lot of phone calls and lived together for many years, but we really have little chance to practice getting to know each other.

every time you call, you say you're fine, don't worry;

so your family smiles on the phone and says, , we're fine, too.

then one day, when I saw the people I cared about were too sad to say, when I tried to comfort them, I found it hard to open my mouth.

then we can only look at them foolishly and be silent together.

finally.

in fact, we gradually realize that "pretending to be all right and saying that we are fine" is an act that no one can poke.

but similarly, we also feel powerlessly that there are a lot of things, so what can we say?

this question has been bothering me for a long time, but later when my sister came to me, I was a little glad.

maybe I was really clumsy and didn't know how to comfort her, but at least that night, I knew for the first time that my sister liked to be funny in that way when she was sad.

say it, you can really secretly change something.

although it's not enough, it's still a lot worse, but it's changed at least a little bit.

I sent a message to my sister that night: "I don't know what happened to you, but I hope youHappy. "

she smiled and said, "I'm happy now."

I can't tell if this sentence is comforting me, but she added later: "you are becoming more and more like a brother."

good night.