Family way (good article in depth)
The warmest place is home, and the most reliable backing is family.
someone on Zhihu asked, "A home, what is the most important?"
there is a highly praised answer that goes like this:
"the most important thing in a family is not the amount of wealth, nor the size of the house. Having laughter at home can make people happier than a life of good food and clothing."
the warmest place in one's life is home, and the most reliable backing is family.
A truly happy family is when you are in it, you can see the smiling face of your family and feel the love of your family.
parent-child skills: tell your children compliments
parent-child experts point out:
in fact, parents praise their children as a way of education, which is very important for their children's growth.
in life, I have met many parents who are especially good at denying their children:
"what is there to cry about? can you understand something?"
"the child is actually very lazy and pretends to work hard."
"look at you. I can't do such a little thing well. What can I expect you to do?"
as children's scientist Adele Farber said, "never underestimate the impact of your words on your child's life."
in an interview with director Jiang Wen, the host asked him:
"what is the biggest failure you have encountered in so many years?"
Jiang Wen, who has always appeared as a tough guy on the screen, suddenly became very lonely. He said a lot, for example, the relationship between me and my mother for so many years has never been good.
I can't do it even though I've made a lot of efforts. I don't know how to make her happy to see what I'm doing. She always looks unhappy.
I also bought a house for my mother, but I didn't think she was very happy, and she didn't go to live, she didn't like it.
when she was admitted to the Chinese opera and showed her mother the notice, she didn't show much pleasure. She threw it aside and said, "your clothes haven't been washed yet. Don't talk to me about it."
from a career point of view, Jiang Wen is still very successful.
but in life, because his mother's emotions were uncertain and unpredictable, he felt that he had failed to please his mother.
in fact, every child yearns for the recognition and affirmation of his parents, even in adulthood.
there is a psychological concept called "native inferiority", which is mainly produced in childhood.
psychologist Freud warns:
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"unexpressed emotions never disappear, they are just buried alive, and one day they will erupt in an uglier way."
parents' praise is always the best gift for their children.
if a child is often belittled, the misfortune of childhood will only make his way of growing up full of nightmares.
only parents who often praise their children can create a happy family environment for their children.
the way of companionship: leave a good temper to your lover
Yang Lan asked when interviewing Zhou Guoping:
"Why do we all leave the good temper to outsiders and the bad temper to the one we love most?"
Zhou Guoping, who has always been moderate, also said: "I often make this mistake."
some people say that daring to lose your temper is a sign of trust.
Yes, you can safely take off all the camouflage in front of those who love you, but if you often hurt each other with a bad temper, the more times you hurt them, the more likely it is that there will be a gap between them.
it is often said, "in a marriage, what hurts more than fists is the tongue."
I feel the same way.
"Oh, don't keep asking, are you bored? can you leave me alone?"
"you can forget even if you take out a piece of trash, what's the use of you?"
"you can't even cook well, what's the use of marrying you home?"
"you can't even take care of the kids, what's the use of marrying you home?"
"what's the use of asking this all the time? you don't understand what I've told you."
these hurtful words are like sharp knives that turn the family into a battlefield filled with gunpowder, exhausting feelings a little bit.
everyone has a temper. It's instinct to take it out, but it's the ability to hold it down.
if a person's external behavior represents his image quality, then his words and deeds at home determine the atmosphere of the family.
if you treat your home as a dump for emotional venting, then it stinks.
you leave a good mood at home and treat your lover gently and kindly. such a home is a warm harbor.
Yi Shu said:
"the biggest mistake we make every day is to be too polite to strangers and too hard on those who are close. Change this bad habit and the world will be at peace."
sometimes we all know a lot of truth, but we can't do it.
the one who can accompany you until you grow old is your lover.
she can tolerate your bad temper, but it will make her sad; she can tolerate your grumpiness; but it will make her sad.
complaining can be silent, hot temper can be changed slowly, and hurtful words can be kept silent.
leave a good temper to your lover, and you can be happier in such a family.
ways to treat parents: be respectful to your parents
"all goodness and filial piety comes first", treat your parents aloneAttitude is the temperature of the family.
with the grace of parents, the whole life of being a child is not over.
someone always thinks:
when I am rich in the future, I must show filial piety to my parents and let them lead a good life.
when I have time in the future, I must always accompany my parents and let them enjoy my happiness.
but time is ruthless and time is meaningless.
filial piety to our parents is something we can't wait for all our lives.
Lao she said, "even if you live to be eighty or ninety years old, you can be a little childish if you have a mother."
losing a loving mother is like a flower in a bottle. Although it still has color and fragrance, it loses its root. "
I once had dinner with my colleagues, pushed the cup to change the room, and everyone laughed.
at this time, a colleague suddenly made a phone call. Unexpectedly, the colleague who was smiling just now immediately became impatient when he picked up the phone:
"I'm too busy to answer the phone right now. I know. Don't worry about me all the time. Just worry about yourself. I'll go and hang up."
after hanging up the phone, my colleague complained, "Oh, my parents are bored. They call me every now and then to say that the weather is cooling, let me wear warm clothes, let me eat better, and don't be hungry." I'm not a three-year-old, and I'm bored to death. "
there is a saying in the warring States Policy: "parents' love for their children is far-reaching."
the "plan" here may be difficult for some people to accept, but all this can be pardoned on the basis of "love". Some people think that caring for their parents is to give them money to ensure that they have enough to eat and wear.
but this can only be regarded as a superficial "feeding" of parents.
A deeper level of love should be a respectful attitude towards parents.
as Professor Yu Dan said:
"it's easy for children to buy a car and a house for their parents when they are rich, but the hardest thing to do is not to look at their parents."
if you really love your parents, you should treat them kindly.
parents are the roots of all of us.
only when children treat their parents respectfully can they flourish and do everything in peace.
George Bernard Shaw said:
"Home is the only place in the world where human shortcomings and failures are hidden, and it also contains sweet love."
reduce unnecessary reprimanding and increase some encouragement and affirmation with children;
between you and your lover, reduce some blame and increase some understanding and understanding;
and parents, reduce unnecessary complaints, natural harmony and harmony.
as the saying goes, "everything is prosperous at home". Kindness among family members is the key to the prosperity of the family.
, I hope everyone who reads this article can work together with his family to achieve family prosperity.