Love needs the air of freedom and the courage to let go.
many parents don't want their children to suffer a little.
I indulge my children frugally and frugally, and as a result, my life is tied up by my children.
remember that a mother left a message saying:
my husband has a spoiled brother in his family. He is 25 years old now and never thinks of others.
the conditions at home are not good. My parents-in-law are both farmers in the countryside, and they are reluctant to buy some delicious food during the Spring Festival, but what about himself?
iPhone follows suit, goes abroad to play, and borrows money everywhere to buy a car.
I thought he was ignorant, but later I found out that he was used to it by his parents, and my mother-in-law said that he had been like this since he was a child, and he couldn't even get what he wanted.
so I take care of the children by myself. I don't need her help. I don't want my children to be like that.
every time I see such parents, I feel distressed.
what makes them willing to become a parasite and raise parasites?
doting will only harm the child.
A mother will tell her child that all you have to do is read a good book and don't worry about anything else.
so don't let the children do the housework, and don't let the children meddle in the big and small matters of the family.
Su Mingcheng, who is jokingly called "mama's boy" in the hit drama "everything is fine",
since childhood, I will rely on a clever mouth to please my mother.
academic performance is not good, it doesn't matter, anyway, there is a way to make my mother happy, come home from school, put my arms around my mother's neck and say, "Mom, I miss you so much."
his mother spoiled him and made him delicious food.
if I can't get into a good university, my family will spend money to find it.
looking for a job after graduation, looking for a job at home.
can not earn living expenses, family subsidies.
after marriage, there is no house, so the family sells the old house for him.
after marriage, his salary is spent every month, and his mother subsidizes him from his monthly pension.
I had a good time.
he thinks he can go on like this.
he is like a headless fly, his life is completely messed up.
was disliked by his wife, and finally was cheated and lost his job.
in his old house, he was annoyed, sat down against the wall and said, "Mom, I have nothing left!"
it can be said that his mother's pet drowned him.
makes him unbearable. He is always clever and wants to make a fortune.
after the divorce, his life reached the lowest point and began to reflect on his life.
his divorced wife, Julie, loved him and said it seemed to be hard over there.
he said, "you have to go to hardship. You have to eat some bitterness, but you can't avoid it."
this sentence can be said to reveal the secret of the skill. if parents had not let their child suffer, the world would have made him very bitter.
many parents feel that it is their responsibility to keep their children from suffering, so they try their best to get their children to take shortcuts.
writer Liu Jirong talks about some of the children's experiences in his article.
from kindergarten to second grade, the teachers are acquaintances.
We can imagine how nice it would be to encounter such a thing.
so that the child can get special care, will not be aggrieved, do not have to bear hardships.
so in those years when I was taken care of by acquaintances, the child went smoothly and happily.
but in the third grade, after the teacher changed, there was no longer an acquaintance to take care of, the child did not adapt, crying that he did not want to go to school.
Mom began to reflect on her actions, which woke up with a start:
finally feel the harm that luck brings to you.
every flower must go through wind and rain, and every taste should be tasted by yourself.
I know these truths, but when it's my turn to be a mother, I will be so confused before I know it.
indeed, as parents, we always want to remove all obstacles for our children and give them shortcuts.
but on the road of life, who can guarantee that the road is smooth?
it is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish.
when we become parents.
will often be caught in this dilemma.
I love my children, but I don't know how to love them, because I'm afraid of doting.
and I have to educate my children, but I don't know how to educate them, for fear of harm.
so parents need to keep learning.
I think it is very important to do these three points well when children are young.
what children can do by themselves
then don't replace him, but encourage him to do
in fact, a child can exercise his independence at the age of two.
for example, let him learn to eat by himself, even if he spills food all over the table.
can at least make him feel that he needs to start doing something.
when they reach the age of three, they will basically be able to wear shoes and clothes by themselves.
then teach the child to do it, and then encourage him to do it himself.
when a child wants to participate in housework, let him participate.
I will let my son organize himself.Food scraps and chopsticks;
tidy up toys and books in the living room;
take out the trash and mop the kitchen floor.
I think these things are small, but meaningful.
because it allows him to learn to share and exercise his ability to work, which is of great help to him to live independently when he grows up.
so he often looks forward to growing up, saying that he will cook for us when he is 10 years old.
older children can also go to volunteer activities together to do what they can and exercise their hands and feet.
parents should let their children have a spirit that is not afraid of hardship, and let them know from an early age that labor is honorable and can win dignity for a person.
only through hard work can a person's value be realized.
these words sound like slogans, but many years later, when a child in his late 30s still asks you for money to eat, you will understand the importance of education to endure hardship.
Children have to suffer a lot
when it comes to reading, there are always children who look resentful and feel bound when it comes to suffering.
the boy wants to conquer the world with his best friend.
so they skipped class, smoked, played cards, played games, confronted the teacher, and made fights outside.
thinks that this is the true character of youth.
Girls think about chasing dramas, stars and brand-name clothes. A group of sisters are together, thinking that they are the whole world.
together they laughed at the rigid group of students who only knew how to read all the time.
scold the nerd behind his back.
results five or six years later, some of the nerds went to a book, 211, 985, and even Tsinghua and Peking University.
and what about this group of people who were once handsome and crazy?
it is often difficult to get into a decent school.
if the character of being lazy and afraid of difficulties has not been changed by life, it will go deep into the bone marrow and follow you like a shadow.
Be outstanding and elegant on any occasion by choosing white and gold wedding dress. Stop searching from over-priced retailers and buy now.
Life will only be a mess.
of course, the most terrible thing is that the values of adults have become "you can still be successful without reading."
but when you look at it many years later, you will find that there are often only a few promising "Baiding heroes".
and more people use a few years of crazy youth in exchange for remorse and suffering.
therefore, in learning, parents should let their children have a hard-working attitude and good habits from an early age.
because I was going to be promoted soon, I didn't sign up for a tutoring class for my children outside.
but there is still a study plan at home, and there are regular study tasks every day from Monday to Friday.
just like preparing for kindergarten at that time, stick to the schedule every day.
in fact, learning to spell is habit and endurance.
and habit requires self-discipline and endurance requires endurance.
parents should have their own lives
Don't live only for children
I still remember a decorator I met before.
he says he works 25 days a month, no matter whether it's sunny or rainy, with a salary of 300 yuan a day.
We all say that his salary is good. He should be doing well. He is almost sixty years old, so don't work so hard.
he said there was no way. A few years ago, his eldest son bought a house to get married, and the family paid for it.
the youngest son, who graduated from college for several years, said he wanted to buy a car and asked for it from his family.
he said that a bowl of water was flat, so he could only do more when he could.
I saw his gray hair at the temples and his stooped back.
there are two large palms and thick knuckles that are out of tune with him.
this is caused by years of intense labor.
I wonder if his sons have taken a good look at these hands.
Why is he willing to let his child grow old?
maybe as he said, a bowl of water should be flat.
it looks like love, but it's actually a kind of harm.
because being a parent not only makes your children feel your support and unconditional love, but also requires far-reaching wisdom.
to know that love needs the air of freedom and the courage to let go.
the book is released by authorization on Monday.