How to judge that you like someone?
but every time I go out, I still go out without an umbrella, wear white shoes and hold the belief that it won't rain.
sometimes we are very strange and choose to ignore the facts and deceive ourselves in order to look better and feel better.
A friend chatted with me a while ago, talking about a boy she liked in junior high school.
this middle watch is too white. The boy deleted her contact information when he went abroad. Later, she also fell in love with others several times and didn't see each other again for eight years.
"I think of him every time I break up." She asked me what the situation was, and her tone was flat.
I said perfunctorily, "it shows that he is very special to you."
she replied hurriedly: "just remember it all the time, it's nothing special."
hearing this sentence, I tilted my head, a little funny: "to remember eight years, itself is very special."
paused and added: "the most special thing is that you don't want to admit it."
Children have an ability that is not as good as adults, and that is to deceive themselves.
the more often I hear people ask, "how on earth can I tell if I like someone?"
the answer I often give to this is: "do you feel sad about the other person?"
do you feel sad because the other person is with someone else?
will you be sad because the other person will never remember you?
I thought this standard was perfect, but then someone replied to me, "I'm not really particularly sad." So I don't really like her. I just like her, right? "
his expression was a little anxious. I hesitated for a moment, nodded, and then he breathed a sigh of relief.
I know that at that time, the girl he had been chasing for a long time was just with someone else.
he asked me in a hurry, not to find evidence that he liked her.
but want to deceive myself through my mouth, deceiving myself that I don't like it that much.
because of this, he can be less sad.
Buying our cheap pretty prom gowns will give you a relaxed and chic look. Our collections come in a variety of sublime materials.
in fact, I've been thinking about why I can't tell whether I like someone or not when I'm all adults.
slowly, I come into contact with more and more people.
she remembered it for eight years and said, "actually, I don't have a lot of good feelings."
before he could express his love, he said, "I don't like her very much."
she broke up sad for a month and said, "he is not my true love."
Adults constantly classify their feelings about a person as average, like, like, love.
because of this rating, people can have more excuses.
in fact, when a person asks "how to tell whether he likes it or not", he likes it carefully.
it's just that this love has encountered some setbacks.
maybe it's distance, maybe it's not available, or it's lost.
so in order not to look so embarrassed, and to feel better, we pretended to forget that there had been a rainstorm because of someone.
We constantly grade that feeling in the inquiry and dilute it in the inquiry.
someone asked me, isn't that good?
isn't it good to rely on self-deception to spare yourself what you can't get and what you are doomed to lose?
I couldn't answer at first.
until later, I saw a circle of friends that said, "my relationship is passive. As long as you take a step back, I will disappear."
I suddenly know why it's not good to let go by deceiving myself.
because when we meet the one we like in the future, as long as we encounter a little obstacle, we will skillfully grade and dilute that feeling, and finally disappear in the same place.
but deep down we like it.
but we no longer try to catch it, we try to forget.
"if there is no reply once, there will be no next time."
"if you don't take the initiative, I won't move on no matter how much I like you."
"even if it's sad, I won't say it for you to stay."
now, we lie to ourselves that a person will cross the sea of people to come to you, but we never say that we will cross the sea of people to see you.
I wrote in an article: "I decided to run away because I knew there was no chance of winning. I didn't want to see myself defeated, so I left in a hurry." It's not shameful to run away, but it's useless. "
it's not shameful to lie to yourself.
it's just that it makes you numb to your feelings.
makes you keep saying to the next person you like:
"I won't like you."