behaves in the world and keeps his heart, which is always the premise.
there is a saying like this: "I am not afraid of hard work, but I am afraid of being disappointed."
sometimes, no matter how difficult life is, we can insist on the words of others, a pair of cold eyes, but we can easily defeat ourselves.
because of this, people always work more and more tired, it seems that no matter what to do, can not satisfy everyone.
but in fact, what really tortures you is not others, but your own excessive concern.
learn to look at foreign affairs in order to be a free person.
some vision, you can ignore
read a short story.
Father and son went to the market to sell donkeys. When I first set out, I was led by my son and rode by my father.
when passers-by saw it, they accused their father: "what does it look like when adults ride donkeys and let children walk?"
the father was embarrassed to hear this and decided to change with his son.
but after walking for a while, another passer-by said, "this child is really ignorant. How can he ride a donkey and let his elders walk?"
there was no way, so the father and son thought about simply riding the donkey together, but they were criticized by passers-by: "these two men really don't take care of the animals and don't tire the donkey to death after such a long walk."
in desperation, the two men could only pick up the donkey and go on their way, and at this time, passers-by cast a sneering look at them.
later, while crossing a wooden bridge, the donkey struggled so much that he fell directly into the river and washed away, and the father and son had to go home empty-handed.
this story sounds like a joke, but in life, many of us have made similar mistakes more or less.
I put on my favorite new clothes for the first time, because the people around me said "not suitable" and immediately doubted my taste.
I posted photos on moments when I went out to play, because someone commented on "not good-looking" and immediately lost my rare good interest.
if you care too much about the opinions of others, it is often difficult for yourself.
you want to gain more recognition, but in fact, you will only lose your own ideas and lose your direction in all kinds of eyes.
it's easy to listen to other people's opinions about you, because you can say whatever you want.
but life is like drinking water, knowing whether it is cold or warm, and only you know how you feel best.
know how to let go of the excessive concern for the eyes of the outside world, the ignorance that should be ignored, the neglect that should be ignored.
there are some misunderstandings, you don't need to explain
have you found that no matter who you are, good or not, you will encounter some moments that will be misunderstood.
and the more you try to explain and prove yourself, the more you will find that all your efforts are in vain, and you may even fall into a situation that gets darker and darker.
there is a temple where the old abbot and his seven disciples live. One day, the rosary worshiped in the temple suddenly disappeared.
the abbot asked seven disciples, all of which were not admitted.
A few days later, the abbot was very disappointed and said to his disciples, "you can go down the mountain tomorrow." Those who take the rosary can stay if they want to. "
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the next day, one of the disciples finally stayed. The abbot asked the disciple left behind, "where is the rosary?" The disciple said, "I didn't take it."
"then why bear the name of stealing?"
the disciple replied, "the seven of us have been suspicious of each other these days. Only when some people come forward can others be relieved." Besides, the rosary is gone and the Buddha is still there. "
the abbot smiled and took the rosary from his arms and put it on the disciple's hand.
you see, those who are clean are clear, and those who are muddy are self-turbid. Time will eventually give the best proof.
in the final analysis, in life, some people like you, some people hate you, some people get close to you, and some people reject you.
Don't expect everyone to understand you, because people have different positions and perceptions, and naturally have different views.
the only thing you can do is to put your mind at ease and play down misunderstandings.
believe that those who understand you do not need an explanation, and those who do not understand you are not worth explaining.
instead of grieving for this, let nature take its course.
how can everything be satisfactory, but be worthy of your heart? It's enough to be yourself.
there are some attitudes, you don't have to mind
dealing with people is a part of life.
many people are used to speculating on the attitudes of others, and once they feel snubbed by the other person's words and deeds, they will feel bitter and bitter.
but attitudes, like human emotions, are always changeable.
always being led by the attitude of others will only make you feel tangled and depressed.
Master Bai Yun once sat opposite to his master. The master asked, "do you remember when I heard that the monk Dadaling Yu said a song when he was enlightened?"
"Yes, yes." Bai Yun immediately replied, "that song is that I have a pearl, which has been locked by law for a long time. Once the law is born, it shines through the mountains and rivers and stars."
after hearing this, Yang Qi laughed several times and then left without saying a word.
Bai Yun was stunned on the spot, not knowing why Master smiled. So he spent the rest of the day wondering if he had said something he shouldn't have said.
that night, he tossed and turned hard to sleep, sleepless all night. Until the next morning, I couldn't help it.He asked master for advice about his doubts
Master smiled again and replied, "you are not as good as a clown. A clown is not afraid of being laughed at, but you are afraid of being laughed at."
Bai Yun suddenly enlightened when he heard this.
most of the time, it's not that there's something wrong with other people's attitude, it's just that you care too much.
in fact, whether a person can win respect in interpersonal communication depends on the other person's self-cultivation on the one hand and his own strength on the other.
since we can't decide on the former, we don't have to worry about it. It's essential to devote more time and energy to self-improvement.
truly wise people will understand: what others do to me is my cause and effect, and how I treat others is my spiritual practice.
being a man and keeping his heart is always the premise.
as long as you treat others sincerely, you will one day reap the reward of honesty.
I quite agree with the saying that an important sign of maturity is to find that there are fewer and fewer things that can affect you.
the world is numerous and complicated.
if you care about everything, life is destined to be extremely hard.
when you reach a certain age, you should practice the ability to keep things simple, look down upon people and look down on things.
it doesn't matter what others think of you, what matters is what you think of yourself.
it is better to smile calmly than to worry about three thousand. If you feel well by yourself, it is a sunny day.
, good night.