Life is not easy.
I'm going far away tomorrow, so in the next ten days, I will be more than ten hours away from you. For some reason, I always feel that I should say goodbye to you, but I don't know where to start. I had no choice but to find an old article I had sent before, and then revised it. Quan should have said "good-bye" to you.
I haven't seen you for a long time. This morning, in order to stay in bed, I didn't hesitate to turn my moments from the morning to the ten minutes before I went to bed. My eyes were still bleary, but I saw the song you made at 02:10 in the middle of the night, Eason Chan's "you listen to me".
I clicked the triangle in the circle, but smiled unconsciously. Because I've known you for almost three years, and you haven't changed a bit.
when you are single, you like to post an unexplained circle of friends, always inadvertently showing how good you are these days, and then holding hands must be your first picture together; and the song you share in the middle of the night is the announcement after the breakup.
that's why you said how regular your life is, which is why I, as an outsider, saw it so clearly.
you come to me from time to time to ask me about my love experience, because you always think that I can date for a long time because I have some dark secret.
but I want to tell you every time: "falling in love is a matter for two people. If the other person is still motionless, even if you are willing to change, it will not help."
so you get lost every time, and even grow another mouth in your heart, saying that I'm bad and don't point out shortcuts.
I am also very helpless, so I have no choice but to spare tonight and write an article for you.
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but this time, I'm still not going to teach you how to fall in love, because I don't know who you're going to meet in your next relationship and what kind of predicament you're going to face.
but it doesn't matter, as long as you fall in love, it's possible to break up.
so I'm going to tell you what I think of lovelorn, like the song "you listen to me".
people who lose love are always selfish.
you chose him because you wanted to be happy.
you chose him not because he is the only option that can give you happiness.
the two are different. The former means "he is fit to create happiness with me", while the latter is the selfish habitual thinking: "he wants to give me happiness."
but no one wants to be with a selfish ghost.
so, you will break up with him, maybe one of the reasons is that you are too selfish.
you try to entrust him with all your happiness, and then you act as a shopkeeper and keep asking for happiness from the other person.
but people only meet you at 1/4 places in their lives. It is not clear whether they will walk with you for the remaining three-quarters. How can they carry your happiness on their shoulders like this?
We can't bet our future on others as we did when we were young. We still have to rely on ourselves for happiness.
so, since that person no longer loves you, even if it is really your fault, you can't help loving yourself.
because you can't be selfish enough to entrust "falling in love with yourself" to the next person you meet later, which will make you care too much about other people's love and scare them away again.
the lovelorn always chooses to ignore important things.
Don't think the important things won't be forgotten by yourself. We can see our nose from the first day we came into the world, but when did you notice its existence? So it's human instinct to "selectively ignore things around you". Otherwise, it would be tiring to stare at your nose all the time.
well, you think the example of nose is too special, so let me tell you about my experience.
after I moved out of school in April, Vivi often went to my place of work to spend weekends with me. At first, I was grateful for having such a good girlfriend.
but slowly, I forgot that kind of "gratitude" and that kind of "rejoicing".
because she comes every week, even if I quietly put down my gratitude, she will not notice and still appear in front of me.
then I began to think that it was right for her to have a bumpy two-hour ride every Saturday, and then it was right for her to buy all kinds of necessities for me, and it was right to waste a good weekend to accompany me to Internet cafes, even if she was kind to me.
until that night, she stayed on the highway for nearly 2 hours because she happened to be caught in a traffic jam. When she got out of the car, her first words were: "I'm really hungry." And when you say it, you still have a red eye.
that sentence scared me so much that I remembered everything. Then I took her to her favorite barbecue restaurant and ate it for two hours to calm her down.
so it was the traffic jam that made me remember that it was not easy for her, as well as the "gratitude" and "rejoicing" that I left behind.
you see, people like me who love to be life mentors often forget the kindness of others to me, and even take it for granted that it is not easy to get.
rigidly change yourself from a grateful person to a selfish person who can only take.
so, if another relationship fails, don't cry and think about whether you are forgetting something important.
the lovelorn always refuses to admit his mistake.
I wonder if it is because we were forced to say "I'm sorry" so much when we were young that we became resistant to apologizing when we grew up. Firmly believe that: as long as you do not admit your mistake, the failure of this matter has nothing to do with me.
I once received an email from a girl. When I was eating, I lost my temper with him again, but he went so far as to talk to him.I said, "if you lose your temper again, we'll break up". I know I was wrong, but I think it is not so wrong, there is no need to rise to the height of the breakup, so I feel very uncomfortable.
thorns, what do you think I should do?
I was originally a "dissuade" person, so I wanted to reply directly to her: "break up." But I was afraid that she would really do what I said, so I became the sinner of the lovebirds.
in fact, when I put the content of the letter out so simply, everyone would think that the girl had done too much: she was clearly wrong, but she refused to admit it, and even wanted to make a fight and throw the pot at the boy.
I have seen a lot of this in recent years, even my friends around me. Because they always feel that girls have a natural right to lose their temper. Moreover, during the passionate love period, the other party is obviously willing to give way indefinitely, but now it is only a few months later, how can he start to talk to himself about the so-called "principles" and "the bottom line of being a man"?
in the final analysis, it's just because they forget that love is a dynamic relationship. It is not immutable, today because I can eat, so you account for a higher proportion. But if you are too poor to buy clothes tomorrow, your proportion may be a little lower than your job.
and you have to remember that no one is willing to make unlimited efforts for unstable relationships.
so boys mention principles in order to rein in girls, get along well in the future, and stop losing their temper.
but if the girl is not grateful at this time, or even in order to make her boyfriend give in again, she does not hesitate to put forward the argument that "although I am wrong, the crime is not worthy of this".
it does break each other's heart, and if you don't get your mind right, your relationship will fall apart over time.
therefore, the purpose of our relationship should be to be happy for both of us, not for ourselves.
so it is more important to learn to apologize than to know how to make a romantic confession. Because of a relationship, confession is just a moment, and getting along with each other is a lifetime.