I thought I'd never think of you again.
Time has not healed anyone's feelings at all.
from the first time I saw her, I knew Ah Liang would never catch up with her.
although they are in the same club, one is cool girl with purple hair and tattoos, and the other is Sunshine boy, who wears black-rimmed glasses and T-shirts for thousands of years.
A Liang was advised to stop a long time ago, but to no avail.
still make excuses to chat with her every night;
drag me to accompany him to the playground to run and pretend to make a chance encounter;
every tweet forwarded by the other party is used as a reading comprehension.
scouted all the boys who liked on her Weibo.
at that time, I always thought he was stupid and became completely different from himself.
but in retrospect, it seems that every secret love story is the same.
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Secret love, in the final analysis, is nothing more than a combination of longing, caution, guessing, and jealousy.
some people like ambiguity because it is safe enough that as long as it is not exposed, no one will get hurt.
and in this game, people who are impatient are usually eliminated.
just like on the night of dinner in the dormitory, A Liang had a few drinks and went back to his head. He sent a long message and told him nothing.
as a result, the next night, he dragged me to go out for a drink.
you don't have to ask, it must have been rejected.
I can't help calling him stupid. After all, if he had been qualified for promotion, he would have secretly slipped the ticket to you.
but as a friend, I can only pat him on the shoulder, pretend to be experienced and say,
"be yourself. It will be all right after a while. Time will solve everything."
he said nothing, lay down on the wine table, seemed to have fallen asleep, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
at that time, I firmly believed in the power of time. No matter who it was, no matter how cruel the injury was, all wounds would be healed by time.
what's more, Ah Liang failed to express his love, so what's the big deal?
after that night, A Liang locked himself up in the dormitory for three days.
during those 72 hours, his mood tasted as strong as the takeout boxes piled up on the floor.
fortunately, on the fourth day, he finally got out of bed, cleaned up the garbage and walked out of the gate.
before leaving, he whispered "thank you" to me.
I didn't respond. I just heard the takeout box being thrown into the dustbin with a bang.
but I know that Ah Liang will get better slowly.
time is a good medicine.
from blocking her Wechat hard, to being able to like each other's show of love with a straight face.
from the hasty escape when I met her on the playground to the ability to say hello calmly;
from the panic in her eyes when I heard her name, to being immune to everything, as if I had nothing to do with myself.
A Liang returned to fitness, began to start a business, and the topic of chatting with me is no longer related to feelings.
all this took less than half a year.
I feel a little lucky to think that it took him more than a year to get out after he broke up with his ex.
A wave of veteran cadres was organized by the community not long ago, and Ah Liang and I both went.
of course, she is also there.
that day, I suddenly found that two years had passed since Ah Liang's drunken night.
after three rounds of wine, everyone turned the bottle and began to play truth or dare.
people in the club are good at playing and ask questions on a large scale. For example, the age of the first kiss, the number of relationships, and even the color of underwear.
maybe it's the atmosphere, or maybe it's because she's so cool. When the bottle pointed at Ah Liang, she suddenly leaned over her face and asked in a moderate voice:
"if I want to be with you now, will you say yes?"
I thought Ah Liang would be calm, but unexpectedly he blurted out, "Yes."
when I was standing still, I saw her winking and saying, "but I don't want to yet."
then there was a roar of laughter and embarrassment.
at that moment, I suddenly felt very sad. The saddest thing was not that A Liang had been made a joke, but that I found that what I had always believed in might not be right.
the so-called time has not solved any problem at all.
just like when comforting Ah Liang, I used to like to say, "it will be all right after a while" and "time heals everything" to people trapped in emotional injuries.
but gradually I realized that for problems like "love but not love", the solution given by time has never been "you will fall in love with me after a while" but "one day I will not love you".
it can only grind all people's dissatisfaction into indifference.
it doesn't matter whether the other person likes you or not;
it doesn't matter whether you can get what you want.
and when the hope from the bottom of my heart is aroused, it falls into more pain.
over and over again until there is no feeling at all.
without feeling, it's not letting go, it's just the final state of disappointment.
that's not a solution at all, it's called habit, it's called helplessness, it's called acceptance of fate, it's forget it.
but I can't help it. I hope more than anyone else that everyone can get married in the end, but feelings are not up to people after all.
if you don't push harder, the other person will like you more.
it's not that if you say put it down, you can erase the memory of the past.
But in addition to habits, in addition to helplessness, in addition to accepting fate, in addition to forget it, what can we do?
that's why it's not hard to understand why so many people start to be cool, stop liking and expecting someone.
because this may not be the best solution, but it is the safest.