The more you want to forget, the more clearly you remember.
only important people are at the top.
at that time, I chatted with her for a long time and joked that the surface was too white, but he was still cautious and uneasy.
so I waited until I was sure she liked me.
that time at the dinner table, I accidentally took her mobile phone and my heart thumped when I saw my profile picture in the first column of Wechat.
We have countless topics and say good night to each other every night, but none of these can tell me whether she is kind to me or likes me.
and setting the top is a very small detail, which makes me determine a lot of things in an instant.
because being at the top means not only "I don't want to miss any information about you", but also "I don't want to miss you".
so when I saw the top portrait of Lulu Wechat, I smelled something different, of course.
so he stabbed her and asked, "boyfriend?"
she is a little shy and can't say a complete word for a long time.
as a good friend, I jokingly grabbed her cell phone, clicked into the avatar, and froze.
the dialogue in
is not hot, the polite good night, the polite response, the chat frequency is also pitiful.
more importantly, Lulu starts every chat.
I suddenly feel a little distressed. It turns out that she is not shy, she is at a loss.
that's a person she likes but doesn't get a response.
suddenly thought of the online hint on qq, the speed dial of mobile phone button 2, and the special attention of
these features seem sweet but somewhat desolate.
because they never need each other's consent, and the other person will never know, it's just an inner play they set for themselves.
never attempt to get any response to this matter.
it's enough for me to know for myself.
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but probably lucky.
Lulu chatted with him more and more frequently, and the two became closer and closer, and they made an appointment to have dinner and watch movies together on the weekend.
this made her excited all week, bothering me every day, how to match it, what lipstick to wear, what makeup to wear, which is more positive than going to an interview.
she was also worried that she would be speechless when she met.
as a result, whether it was a movie or dinner, the two had a good chat.
until the boy paid, Lulu accidentally saw his avatar on top.
A girl with long hair, some curls, white and smiling, happens to be not her.
for some reason, that picture swept away the happiness of the whole day.
she wanted to pretend to be careless, but she deliberately asked, "do you have someone you like?"
when she came back, I saw her pursing her mouth, silent for a long time, clicking on the chat window and closing it again, many times.
finally, she canceled the ceiling.
"I don't seem to be qualified for him anymore." That's what she said.
I realized a very strange thing for the first time: it turns out that it takes qualifications to top a person and like someone.
just after canceling the top, she can't help but want to click into the boy's circle of friends.
she kept slipping her fingers, skimming over important family, unwanted friends, boring group chats, and finally found his avatar in a very bottom place, deeper than she had imagined.
she's a little sad.
because as long as she doesn't work hard and don't go to the top, then an important person will easily be overwhelmed by many unimportant things.
what makes me even more sad is that she never clicks into the other person's profile picture on her friend list. She must turn down little by little until she reaches him.
I couldn't bear it, so I had to persuade her, "actually, you still like him, don't you?" It's so tiring, so you might as well just admit it and come back to the top. "
I thought it would be easier for her to say that.
but her answer left me speechless and touched:
"I also know that I can't forget him now, but give me some more time. Just as his avatar will be held up by one boring person after another, the trivialities of life can slowly wear away my love for him. "
"but if I keep being at the top and keep admitting it, I may never forget him."
there is a passage in Wong Kar-wai's "East Evil and West Poison": the more you want to forget, the more clearly you remember.
this is a bit of a cruel sentence.
because it punctures countless people who are trying to go out and are trying to forget, the last thing they want to admit.
I have heard that when you can no longer have it, the only thing you can do is not to forget.
this is not the case.
when you can no longer have it, the one more thing you can do is forget.
the beginning of forgetting is to press the "unset" button.
in fact, as you know, pressing this button doesn't mean you really forget, it just means that you start trying to forget.
you said you were sad, and you asked me if I could cancel it for you.
but this button really cannot be pressed by someone else for you.
because you are the one who chose to be the top in the first place.