The heart-breaking truth of marriage: who you live with, you live with yourself.
A happy marriage does not depend on each other first, but on yourself first.
countless people have entered into marriage, and there are also countless people who have come out of marriage.
Marriage happiness is what all people in love really look forward to, but not everyone can have it in the end.
to decide whether a marriage is happy or not, it never depends on external material conditions, but on the people in this besieged city.
summing up the marital status of countless readers, there is a kind of person who will not be happy to marry anyone: one person is not good, and two people are also very sad.
We often hear the saying: "in marriage, you live with yourself."What exactly does this sentence mean?
in fact, its real core is to have the ability that one person can live a good life, so that it is possible to embrace a happy life after joining with another person.
and this ability, verified by countless people, can also be split into the following three points:
people in a good mood have a good marriage
writer Dickens said:
"A sound emotional state of mind is more powerful than a hundred kinds of wisdom."
emotions are interspersed every day of marriage.
the marriage of a person who knows how to regulate his emotions and can provide emotional value to his partner must be warm and interesting.
the happy marriage of modern writer Bing Xin is inseparable from the good mood of husband and wife.
Bing Xin's husband Wu Wenzao is a famous sociologist, but he is also a "nerd" who always makes people laugh or cry in life.
the child wants his father Wu Wenzao to buy Shaqima, but a child with a single language can only say "horse", so Wu Wenzao goes to the heart shop and only says "horse", which makes everyone laugh.
Bing Xin asked Wu Wenzao to buy a double silk kudzu robe. When he got to the cloth store, he couldn't remember his full name.
so, he asked to buy feather yarn. Later, thanks to the shop assistant's contact with Bing Xin, there was no mistake in making a phone call.
someone else would have been furious in the face of such an unhelpful husband in life.
but Bing Xin laughed and teased "what a stupid uncle" while looking for an opportunity to tease her husband.
on one occasion, they were invited to enjoy the flowers. Wu Wenzao, whose mind was still in the book, stood in front of the lilac tree and asked Bing Xin what kind of flower it was. Bing Xin deliberately said it was "Xiangding." unexpectedly, Wu Wenzao nodded and agreed.
made everyone laugh.
Wu Wenzao, who was teased, was not angry at all. Instead, he laughed with his wife and was very happy.
both husband and wife have a stable mood. I always treat you with a gentle attitude, and you never give me an angry face.
A good mood can not only make your world bright, but also infect each other, which is the value of sound emotions to marriage.
We have been emphasizing the importance of emotion because we have seen too many marriages riddled with emotional instability.
for people who can't control their emotions, marriage is like a ticking time bomb, and happiness is even more difficult to say.
emotion is also an important feng shui for a family.
Happy people can only be nurtured in a harmonious family.
the days of two people, when one person lives
everyone is a complete circle. A good marriage is where two circles intersect, where there is overlap and where there is independence.
when they overlap, the two share the responsibility of the family;
when you are independent, you can live well by yourself.
not completely dependent on each other, no matter when, has its own light.
this reminds me of the marriage story of two people, which is very typical:
Chu Chen used to be the director of Phoenix Satellite TV.
after getting married, she chose to leave the workplace and become a stay-at-home mother for five years for the sake of her family and children.
in these more than 1800 days, the focus of her life is not only her husband but also her children.
although it is also a kind of happiness to run the family and let the children grow up healthily.
but Chu Chen, who lost himself, still felt suffocated for a time.
in a certain program, she confessed a paragraph that made countless people break their defenses:
"I am a Chu Chen who gave up all friendships because of his family.
I hope my husband can love me as much as he did before I had a baby. I hope I rank higher in his heart than two children. "
before he had finished speaking, Chu Chen covered his face and cried.
because of the loss of self-pay, the husband gradually ignored her existence.
the grievances and sadness among them made many of the guests present sad.
the other is a powerful actor Gao Yuanyuan.
Gao Yuanyuan, who also became a mother, did not give up the opportunity to grow up.
go back to work soon after giving birth, even if making such a choice will make you busier, but believe that when you are the only one who can do well, the two will not be bad.
this should be the case for both men and women. over-reliance on each other can only make marriage heavy.
A happy marriage must be spiritually pleasant.
as the saying goes: I love you, but you are free.
hand in hand with my whole life, I am willing to emit my own light under your halo.
I am not bound by you, and I will not break your wings.
when you are hurt, I will heal you; when you are happy, I will be happier than you.
only those who don't give up on themselves can be good.Grasp the pace of marriage and go on with your partner for a long time.
enrich your spirit and embrace a tough marriage
A person with rich spirit has a broad and deep world.
they know how to pay attention to their hearts, explore their own thoughts, and enrich their own world.
such people, in the face of marriage, not only have the courage not to be afraid of variables, but also have the ability to solve problems.On the other hand, a person with a lack of spirit will regard marriage as the whole, and the more he cares about it, the more likely it is to go to extremes.
in the novel "the Great them" written by the writer at the end of the evening, he Qianru was originally a person who lacked spirit in marriage.
she was a confident woman with a good family and gorgeous appearance, so she had no worries when she married her husband who was six years younger.
but with the passage of time, her husband's career is getting better and better, Qian Ru did not take the initiative to enrich her mind.
quitting her job and preparing for pregnancy at home, there is a growing gap between her and her husband.
A person who is mentally barren often likes to think about those unimportant things.
Qianru had nothing to do all day and began to care about the age difference between Qianru and her husband at the age of six.
first, she devoted half her energy to crazy maintenance of herself, and the other half of the time she gradually doubted her husband's loyalty.
not only investigate the husband's circle of friends privately, but also directly question it in public, which embarrasses both the husband and himself.
but fortunately, the husband understands his wife's worries and takes the initiative to talk to her, encouraging her to regain her hobbies and enrich her spirit.
Qianru also put aside her paranoia to enrich her world, and the marriage relationship that followed gradually got on the right track.
only by knowing how to enrich one's own spirit can one have a strong heart. This kind of power emanating from the inside out makes it easier for one to get close to happiness.
Yun Niang, the wife of Shen Fu, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, is a typical example.
Yun Niang has many hobbies. If she has nothing to do, she will burn incense. "set a copper wire frame on the horse, about half an inch away from the fire, bake it slowly, and its fragrance is melodious and smokeless."
she also likes to make tea. "pinch a little tea with a small gauze bag, buy a flower heart, take it out tomorrow morning, cook Tianquan water and soak it, especially the fragrance."
these things seem to take time and energy, but they enrich her spirit and make her feel at ease.
people who are full of spirit not only know how to explore their own heart, but also respect each other's spiritual world. On the basis of understanding, they sum up a set of mature methods to resolve the disharmony in their feelings.
such people, no matter who they are with, can always find a harmonious way to get along, so that marriage can really become a habitat for love.
psychologist Bafari Knicks once said:
"Marriage is a book, the first chapter is about poems, and the rest is plain prose."
but the difference is that the prose written by people who are happily married is equally beautiful and memorable.
there is a joke on the Internet to tease people who are not happily married:
"many people say that their marriage is unhappy, but in fact, they have wronged their marriage.
most people don't have an unhappy marriage, but they just don't have a good life and happen to get married, so marriage takes the blame. "
although it is a joke, it is not without reason.
only after you have a good life and get married, can you have a good life with your partner.
A happy marriage does not depend on each other first, but on yourself first.
, share the article with more people, and you who would like to see the article, from now on, live yourself first, and your marriage will be happier and happier.