The woman who died in the marriage came back to life.
The pursuit of one's own happiness is a woman's lifelong career.
on the podium of the United Nations, a peasant woman shouted confidently and confidently in Henan dialect:
"I don't sleep anymore, and the waves pick me up."
her name is Han Shimei. She is from Nanyang, Henan Province. She is a woman who has been wronged and endured for half her life.
some people regard her as "
the second Yu Xiuhua
some people call her "
Poets on the ridges of the fields
on November 25, at the invitation of UN-Women, she came to Beijing alone to share her life experience.
there are two important turning points in her life.
the first turning point came when she was 19.
for 3000 yuan, her mother forced her to marry a man with mild mental retardation.
she dragged on for three years looking for various excuses, but then she had no choice but to compromise.
the money from marriage has added several new tiled houses to the family, allowing his younger brother to marry a wife, but what he can bring to Han Shimei is more than 30 years of pain and suffering.
in order to marry her, her mother-in-law owed a lot of foreign debts, and in the end, all the money fell on Han Shimei, who passed by the door.
in order to pay off the debt, Han Shimei can only go into the factory to work, standing from morning to night every day, dare not stop for a day.
she also works with men to build roads and pile piles, pushing more than 100 carts of dirt a day.
she has even tried to tie and cut steel bars, which are hard work for men.
she said, "I will do anything as long as I can make money."
but her diligence and ability did not win her husband's heartache and sympathy.
the husband's hobby is gambling.
so she not only had to make a lot of money to support the family, but also had to pay off her husband's gambling debts.
one day, Han Shimei was busy until 12:00 in the evening, only to find that her husband had been waiting for her to come back to cook dinner.
this became the last straw that crushed the camel. She gritted her teeth through all the hardships of life, but her husband's indifferent attitude suddenly made her feel extremely tired.
Han Shimei now gets up at 6 o'clock every morning and then rushes to a nearby factory to cook for the workers there, three meals a day, all year round except the Spring Festival.
the endless life made her more and more depressed.
in 2020, another turning point in her life came.
by chance, she found that someone was writing poems on the short video platform, so she tried to write several poems and posted them, and it got out of hand.
in her poems, there is a boundless love for natural scenery:
"the willow branches are newly equipped with the fragrance of peach blossoms, and the mandarin ducks play in the water to drive out the lotus pond."
"the green lotus is exposed with smoke, and the frogs sing in the pond and the willow hides Zen."
also has a beautiful vision for love:
"infatuation in exchange for the evening breeze, drunken sleep in the sunset dream a thousand times."
many poems are written by her between work. Although the words are not necessarily gorgeous, they contain sincere feelings.
for Han Shimei, writing poetry is pure relaxation and pleasure.
in this process, she can temporarily forget the trivial housework, forget the pressure of life, as if the suffocating space has been opened a window, she can finally poke out her head to take a breath.
she once used a poem to express her unwillingness and dissatisfaction with marriage:
"I don't know how bitter it is to live with trees and how painful it is to live with walls."
later, she plucked up her courage and filed for divorce to her husband.
but the husband opposed it so firmly that he took out his son as a shield and said that he would not leave until his son got married.
it was not easy to wait for the son to get married, but the husband broke his promise.
in May this year, she formally filed for divorce in court, but her daughter's upcoming college entrance examination made her hesitate:
"I can't delay my child's study. I have been delayed by this marriage for so long that I don't care about this year and a half. "
because of her motherhood, she once again chose to compromise.
the seeds of yearning for freedom, once planted, spread like weeds.
now she is finally determined to get rid of this unhappy marriage once and for all.
Han Shimei's story resonates with countless netizens.
one of the netizens left a message saying:
"May tens of thousands of women no longer sleep, and the strength of support will always be there!"
how many people in life are stuck in tedious housework like her?
how many people like her are suffering from widowed marriage all day long?
how many people like her want to get rid of the shackles of the family, but because the children choose to put up with it again and again?
too many women see their own shadow in her.
her past is the present of countless women, and what she is doing is a regret that many people want to do but have never been able to do.
previously received a message from a reader who said that her life had been ruined in patience.
when she was young, she was the creative director of a well-known advertising company with high academic qualifications and strong ability.Have high hopes.
after getting married, her husband doesn't want her to go out in public.
so she quit her job and became a stay-at-home mother, circling her family like a planet every day.
what kind of food the child wants to eat, she goes to learn immediately, and she is the first to rush ahead when there is anything wrong at home.
she thinks that if she gives wholeheartedly for her family, she can get happiness for the rest of her life.
but she turned out to be wrong.
the husband, who used to be submissive, gradually became strong after marriage.
not only leave all the housework and children to her, but also often quarrel with her inexplicably because of some small things.
it's not that she hasn't thought about divorce. Looking at the children at home, she can't be cruel all the time.
she lives such a boring life day after day for the sake of her children and to maintain a complete family.
as a result, when she experienced it last year, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
have you found that many women are always too tired in life?
whether it is Han Shimei, this aunt, or other women trapped in marriage, they have to play many conscientious roles in their lives.
before they get married, they have to be clever daughters and meet their parents' expectations, and sometimes they can't even decide their own marriage.
after marriage, they become wives again, and how to balance their family and career has become an inexplicable problem. In front of them, it seems that no matter how to choose, it is wrong.
the moment the child is born, they become more of a mother, and the problems of raising children become mountains that weigh on them, making them out of breath.
from birth to old age, they are daughters, wives, daughters-in-law and mothers, but they ignore an identity, that is, themselves.
they are busy all their lives revolving around others, and they never seem to live for themselves.
some people may think that women have always been like this, so so should you.
Why is what worldly is right?
should women give up themselves for the sake of their families and their families?
do you remember Aunt Su Min who traveled by herself in one car and one tent before?
A year ago, she drove her modified car from Zhengzhou to all parts of the country.
for Su Min, the 56-year-old self-driving trip is not only a middle-aged escape, but also an act of self-help.
having been married for many years, her husband doesn't care about her at all, and he will punch her if he is a little unhappy.
on weekdays, she is like a free babysitter, assigned by her husband to do all kinds of work every day without any praise. If she does something bad, she will be sarcastically abused by her husband.
although her husband gives her some living expenses every month, he often suspects her of spending money indiscriminately.
to get rid of this humiliation, Su Min has tried many jobs.
she swept the street, delivered newspapers, and went to a fertilizer factory.
later, with the support of her daughter, Su Min paid another 10,000 as a down payment before she bought a car of her own.
she spent the first half of her life in patience, for her family, for her husband, for her children.
by the age of 56, she couldn't hold on any longer:
"at that time, I opened my eyes every day and wanted to die."
in her words, she doesn't want to work for everyone for the rest of her life.
but she herself did not expect that after she really took that step, what was waiting for her was a thorough new life.
during the trip, while enjoying the scenery along the way, she learned self-media and shared her happy life with netizens every day.
became popular, she received another advertisement for luxury goods, and she was confident and beautiful on the screen.
Be ready to buy yourself the elegant formal dresses charlotte nc and stand out in a crowd. Enjoy the combination of simplicity and utility.
in Shanghai, the Disney boss personally accompanied her to the amusement park.
even the overseas New York Times reported her story.
I seem to see the answer in her how important it is for a woman to live for herself.
in life, there are always people who think that women should work without complaining, but never think that they are the first to be themselves before they become wives and mothers.
they also have their own dreams and lives.
it is their due right to pursue their own happiness.
they choose to pay for their families, but that doesn't mean they were born to be.
put aside the shackles of these identities, they can live more freely, or even better.
like the rebellious middle-aged Liu Mintao:
after the divorce, she tried a hairstyle she had never experienced before, challenging a bare-back dress that she had never dared to think of before.
on the stage, the amorous feelings of "red high heels" conquered countless people.
Yu Xiuhua said, "I didn't have youth in the past, but now youth has just begun."
has always believed that there is only one way to be happy, and that is to live a good life in the way you want.
all the trapped women, please remember:
pursuing one's own happiness is a woman's lifelong career. No matter what age you are, your life is not the only one in the eyes of outsiders.
when you find that you have a good rootThis is not the life you want, push open that door bravely, maybe there will be a different world.
, best wishes to Han Shimei and every woman who lives for herself.